Didnt do much today.. Was at home the whole day. Did lots of thinking..
And as usual, someone came along.

This person was feeling a teeny bit down. What's new, rite? I'm the one of the many, people (guys) come to when they either need something or need cheering up. Not complaining. But, I'm getting tired. Ohkay.. This person called and told me how lonely he is.. blah blah blah. I know where the conversation's heading to and I wanted to hang up the phone. But I didnt. Why? Why? Why? I've no blardy idea. It hurts when my guy friends say," Tulah.. Bila I nak you, you tak nak. Kalau you dulu ambik me, sampai sekarang you bahagia.". Ah.. you guys dont have to rub it in. No regrets. And no, I dont think I want to be in a relationship with a friend. What if it doesnt work out? What's going to become of our friendship? I'm content with you being my friends.

Think about it.. If I were to accept any Tom, Dick or Harry.. Would I be happy? Knowing that the particular person loves me and I may not feel the same way towards him. Is it fair? No. By the way, how would I know if he really loves me or not? Cause he may lie. He may think that he loves me.. but all he wants is someone he can call his. Or because he's tired of being lonely.

Please dont give me the crap about how much I've changed. How I'm more mature and nicer. I can give you the name of a person who doesnt think that of me. Instead of mature, he'd say I'm childish though I'm turning 20 in a couple of months. As for nice, he'd say I'm evil. That you've always liked me. That I never gave you a chance.

Whatever it is, I'm not freaking ready to be in another relationship. Leave me alone. Give me space to breathe. To be single all over again. Let me enjoy what's left of my life. Let me discover what I want. Give me time. Lots of it. Thank you.