Hahaha.. I've yet to leave my house and meet her for lunch and not forgetting 'fishing'.
But then, out of the blue.. I'm missing him. It's normal, right? For someone to miss a person they used to love, to care about.. Personally I feel that it's okay to miss him.. Not as though I want him back. That's the last thing I want. Not being mean or anything. Just that I believe he's better off with someone else and not me. What have I got to offer that's better than what the other girls are able to? Vice versa. And, I doubt we'll get along fine. Sooner or later one of us will definitely hurt the other party with our words, actions and his lies or should I say revenge.

But.. why waste time missing him when all memories of us are pretends and lies. Every phone conversations between us are just repeats to him. Sometimes I do wonder.. Doesnt he get bored and tired having to repeat what he did in the day to me and the others he's also with. He might as well get a recorder. Saves the energy. The sweet memories I used to have of him are gone. Suddenly I realise that those were pretends too.

And from all that.. I'm asking myself. Did he love me? Would someone who says that he/she loves the other party hurt that person they love over and over again? It doesnt make any sense. So, the answer is.. No, he never did.
Did I love him? Yes.. I did.
Does he love me? Hahaha.. You know the answer.
Do I love him? Sadly.. No. Not anymore. Though he's in the special place in my heart. I've no idea why.

Maybe I'm missing him because I'm pathetic. Pathetic as in trying to be brave and strong when I'm actually a softy inside. Hahahaha. Why miss him when I dont have any feelings towards him anymore? Why waste my time? Why is it so difficult to forget people? Why am I even blogging about this when I've told myself time and time again that it's over and done with.. That I want to just move on. I'm pathetic, arent I? Hahaha..